Wednesday, November 16, 2011

PYHO: A Sister's Heartbreak

My sister came to hang out one night last weekend.

It was funny, because I had been thinking all day that it had been awhile since I'd talked to her... and usually when I do it's because I need help with childcare and I was thinking I should call and have her and BIL over just because

... and then she texted and asked to pop over.

Seems BIL, whose immediate family is all local, had out-of-town extended family around for his grandma's birthday.  Some of them were staying with my sister and after a weekend of entertaining she was on overload.

She sent him out with his cousins and came to hang.

My sister and I have a funny relationship.  Growing up, we didn't have much in common and were not friends.  We weren't "close," because for whatever reason, my mom needed us to be close to her, the one we confided in, and we were never encouraged to develop a closeness of our own.

Now that we are grown, we've chosen similar career paths and she's always been a great aunt, even when she lived 600 miles away.  We are each others only sibling, and when I needed a fresh start, it was my sister I chose to be near, so we've achieved this funny kind of closeness.

My sister sat on my couch and cried last night... which in and of itself is a big deal.

Her husband is STILL out of a job.

He HAS been looking and he cannot find anything in his field.

He has been collecting unemployment but it was discontinued several weeks ago because his former employer tried to stop paying their part, even though he is entitled to collect based on the severance agreement THEY gave him.  It will be straightened out...he has done everything right... but it may take up to six more weeks. If he goes out and gets a job for the holiday season, he screws up the unemployment and will be jobless again in January.  It's a vicious cycle.

They are strapped... making do on her salary... we work the same job...I know what her salary is... I know how hard it is.

What a way to start your first year of marriage.... when things are supposed to be happy and yes stressful, but happy stress... 

My sister is 32 years old and her husband is 40.  They should be starting a family... they planned to start a family, but that has been put on hold until he finds employment.

She should be realizing her dreams and instead she is dealing with new and different heartbreak.

My sister sat on my couch and cried last night.

My heart broke for her because I am not in a position to do any more than listen...

Please pray for the right job to come my BIL's way!


18 comments:

The Blonde Duck said...

I'm so sorry. I've been looking for work for a year but we're blessed because we don't depend on my salary...I can't imagine being a newlywed and dealing with that.

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

My husband's company closed a month after we married. That was four years ago.

He's working now as a Realtor, and I'm proud of his "reinvention," but he has yet to clear expenses.

So we're living on a teacher's salary too. It is hard, but we're still rich.

SHARM said...

Hello Thank you for visiting my blog, My best friend's husband went through the same things. However her kids were in college. I am sorry to hear this, but I will pray for your sister's husband and her for their happiness. I know how hard life sometimes could be. I am glad you are their to listen to her she can come and cry to you even though you can't help I am sure it means a lot to her. Hang in there something will come out that will change… believe in miracles might not sounds practical but sounds there is hope out there...

Tara R. said...

I'm so sorry your sister and husband are going through this. I'll keep my fingers crossed for them that the right job comes along, and very soon.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

When the economy is struggling, so many things are effected, not just finances. Its just so damned hard. I get it. And I hope something comes along for him soon!

StardustSavannah said...

I'm so sorry for them- both of them.
She's stressed and so is he, no doubt. I sure will say a little prayer for them. It's so hard these days- at least they have each other and her salary.

Wishing them the best of luck.
Tracy

Shell said...

So stressful. Especially during that first year of marriage. Sending prayers that he will be able to find a job soon.

Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] said...

That's so tough, for everyone. Sending lots of love to you and your sister, and hoping your BIL finds a job soon!! *hugs*

Christine Siracusa said...

That's a tough situation. Even though "all you can do" is listen, that is huge. Being there for them will help them, emotionally. I'm glad your relationship with your sister is growing...it can be tricky. At least, mine is.

Mrs. Sullivan said...

That is so rough. My husband was unemployed for a good long while and I know that kind of stress is hard. My prayers for your sister, your BIL, and you!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

:-( I'm sorry. I will say I was afraid it was worse, which isn't to say that this isn't bad, but my heart jumped a bit when I saw the title. Huge hugs and prayers for sis.

Moomser said...

what an awful situation, sending good job thoughts to your bil.

Heather said...

My fingers are crossed that he finds something. The system is so screwed up.

Hopefully this experience will make their marriage stronger.

SassyModernMom said...

Oh I hope things turn around for them....sometimes it realy is darkest before the dawn.

bigguysmama said...

I'm so glad your sister has you to share life's burdens with. I will be praying for your brother in law.

~Mimi

Sara said...

Sending prayers their way.

~Sara

mommysummers.blogspot.com

Rachael said...

I'm so sorry. I'll keep them in my prayers. It's so hard to watch a sister go through this kind of thing.

Debbie(single;complicated) said...

I hope and pray something changes for them soon!!!