Wednesday, March 7, 2012

PYHO: What I Miss

My mom and I had a pretty tame visit... for us.  Don't worry, there were still some zingers and I'll get to those soon, but for the most part, it was a good visit.  Although we didn't know it when she made plans to come, it couldn't have been better timing.  Gram swooped in and saved the day.  She got my children over the hump of the disappointment from their dad, which was still rearing it's head in the form of them being at each others throats.

I should say, for all that I complain about my mother, I really do love her and know that she loves me.  I'm grateful, that even though we both know visits between us can go south in a instant and neither of us really knows what will set the other off, it doesn't stop her from coming, spending time with the kids, and helping out.

Having her here, having another adult in the house, got me thinking about some of what I miss as a single mom. It's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because this fall will mark seven years since my ex left, perhaps because my first semi-serious relationship since then ended past fall, or perhaps because seven years is just a plain old long time to be alone.

I know I'm not totally alone.  I know I have friends and family to support me,I have date some ~a very little some~ but there are a lot of things I miss about being married.

Things like:
  • Having another adult body in the house
  • Having someone sit across the room to watch TV with
  • Having someone to bounce things off of...ideas, burdens, whatever is on my mind
  • Having someone to make my coffee
  • Walking into the kitchen and having someone else be at the counter
  • Walking up to that person and being able to snuggle up for a back hug
  • Looking out the window and seeing someone doing chores,  yard work, or playing with the kids
These are the things I miss the most... the simple presence of having someone I love in the house, the companionship.

Seven years is a long time!


Diane said...

Though I didn't go it alone as long as you have, I understand because I remember. I admire your strength.

Di said...

It is hard. I'm going through the same thing even though I'm technically not single. I also have a similar relationship with my mom. I can only tolerate so much togetherness with her!

Tiffany said...

I don't know what it's like to not have some one adult in the house with me, I got married and moved out of my parents house.
Big hugs to you my friend. XOXO

Deb said...

Though I've never gone at it alone, I admire your strength and your courage. Thanks for sharing.

Shell said...

Oh, girl.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this right now.

But, you are strong. And even though 7 years is a long time- it's not forever and you can still have that person there for you someday. xo

FourJedis said...

7 years is a really long time. I appreciate that you found the good in the time with your mom. I feel like the time my mom is here, I count down till the time she is leaving. I need to reflect more positively on our time together.

Babes Mami said...

I'm glad the visit was tolerable!! I would miss those little things too, because the little things end up being the big things. To me anyway.

Unknown Mami said...

It is a long time. I commend you on all that you do alone. Parenting is tough work for two and even tougher for one.

Not a Perfect Mom said...

7 years is a long time...I won't lie...
but who knows what the future holds...right?
(cue sappy music)

Heather said...

You are right for as much as my husband drives me stark raving mad and he certainly does I would miss all those little things you talked about.

I know it will happen for you. It is just a matter of when not if and for some reason this isn't the right when.

The Anecdotal Baby said...

I say you single moms out there are angels. I hope you find your right fit who'll be all those things you miss.

Stopping by from PYHO!

Tracy Wilson said...

I like to think that the Universe is just taking her time, finding you the REALLY RIGHT one..
You're special, and you deserve someone special too.
Have Faith. It's there for you.


Mimi B said...

I miss those very same things. You're right, we're not entirely alone, we have our support system, but sharing those things with someone you're intimate with emotionally and mentally makes a huge difference!