Friday, June 8, 2012

Friday Fragments: Never a Dull Moment!

"You just don't know how to suck!" my mother exclaimed to my father.

I about died.

The Girl has come home with Milk Duds and Daddy had eaten one and was making funny faces because it was stuck to his teeth, but seriously???

*****

"Who died?"  my mother asked.

"Huh?" was my reply

"Daddy said you asked if we could pick up the kids from school so you could go to a wake for a coworker."

"No, I am going to the hospital to see Shirley and her new BABY!"

Baby, Wake, Baby, Wake...same difference??? *sighs*

*****

We have decided that the hedge clipping debacle is totally Daddy's fault. Not only should he have known that my mother would take it upon herself to get started when he wouldn't set them up for her, surely he is to blame for failing, over the course of 40 years, to teach her the difference between electric clippers and a CHAINSAW!  Evie and I know!

*****

I am done, I am done, I am done with work for the year!  I have a work day on Monday and as you read this I am probably at school packing my classroom for the HVAC work ~Lawn Boy took the day off to help...think I can convince him to do so with his shirt off???~ but the students are gone and I am done teaching for the year! 

Can you hear me singing and dancing?

*****

I went to put out my garbage yesterday morning because I forgot to put it out the night before.  It was literally dawn...the sun was not all the way up. There were MAGOTS all over the outside of my garbage can.  I managed to get it out without vomiting, but I think putting the garbage out has officially become The Boy's chore!

*****

This week, in my new hulking crossover SUV, I have managed to back into someone who stopped behind me in a parking lot.  I was looking, but the car was not visible out my back window because it sat to low to the ground. My sensors went off, but it happened too quickly for me to react.


Then last night I managed to rip a cosmetic trim over the license plate off when I didn't pull far enough into the garage and it got hooked on the door.


So much for my nice new car. *sighs*

Mommy's Idea

18 comments:

Heather said...

Yipee for summer!!! Enjoy.

I agree garbage duty is definitely for the boy.

Well at least you got the little fender bender out of the way with your new car - now you don't have to worry about it anymore. Right?

Diane said...

Your mom cracks me up.

My boys take out the trash here. But if we forget to remind them? Forget about it. That was my most dreaded chore when I was single at my old house (that my niece and her fiance are now renting)because it has an uphill driveway I had to drag it up and the boys weren't old enough then.

I did that same thing in a Kohl's parking lot in the SUV Charlie used to have. I was so embarrassed until he told me he'd done the same thing it. There was a bad blind spot in that thing!

Wayne W Smith said...

It sounds as though you had a lost in translation week. These can lead to such funny stories but it makes you wonder how messages and thoughts can come out so garbled. Kind of like this comment.

Laurie Matherne said...

Okay. I assume you hit something not somebody. That would be more serious.

viridian said...

Gee, I had back up car trouble too. Like the lost in translation story!

Heather Smith said...

The first thing I thought of when I read your first frags was the game of Broken Telephone... hope next week is better!

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Ugh, we had to pack for new HVAC about five years ago, and five years before that for new flooring.

I know the pain, but it's also good to HAVE to sort through things both before and after. Less junk left sitting around year after year.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Ew. If that was our funky garbage I would have not done it. Gross. Mega-gross. Sorry about the car. That stinks. Blech!

I Wonder Wye said...

Schools out for summer!! Now playing in my head! I was also a newly divorced lady at 30....living in DC...not a great place to meet men let tell you...not that I was that enamored with the idea...sounds like you have picked yourself up and are doing great!! More power to you! Loved the fragments...your mom is a hoot!!

Tiffany said...

I know your pain on the garbage and maggot fun. When my hubs was in Haiti for his mission trip, guess who got trash duty? Yours truly. It was maggot covered and I had to drag it from behind our fence and push it through dirt. With maggots! I respect the man a little more for having to deal with that once a week. :P

What kind of SUV did you buy? Hopefully the damage hasn't been too severe.

Cathy said...

Sounds like an interesting week. Hope you vehicle isn't damaged too badly.

Ann in the UP said...

It's always good to get the first dings over with, I guess.

But maggots? Seriously? I have a strong stomach but the thought makes me queasy. Ugh.

Have a great summer! I know how happy teachers are when school is over!

Erin said...

Wow, what a week!

I can not only hear, but see the happy dance about the end of school. I'm right there with ya, although we were done 2 weeks ago. Sounds like quite a mess with the HVAC.

EWWW gross Maggots! I had that happen once when I tried to help with the trash . . . sad to say, but I don't help any more.

Keetha Broyles said...

Our youngest daughter was a true chocohaulic. She would HIDE her chocolate kisses from hubby, but he found them and ate them anyway.

It made her MAD as a hornet!

Dr. Momsie! said...

New follower from the share fest! Love the mom stories! My mom has some funny ways of messing up words . . . Maybe I'll post about it someday.

Rebecca R. said...

Love these little tidbits!! Your mom sounds so funny!! :-D

Rebecca R. said...

Love these little tidbits!! Your mom sounds so funny!! :-D

Amy said...

Sorry about the dings in the new SUV.

Having the summer off sounds wonderful. Enjoy!