Wednesday, June 27, 2012

PYHO: The Inlaws

Last weekend, I took my children to see their "other" grandparents.  We haven't seen them in two years, but they invited us to come visit the next time we were in town and we were going to be in town, so I took them.  We actually stayed with them.

It was odd, but not necessarily in a bad way.

My ex-husband does not speak to them, so in some ways that makes it easier, but it also makes it harder because it makes it feel like we are doing something wrong.

They are good people, my inlaws. They have their faults, though. I think my ex is an idiot for cutting all ties, but I do remember what it was like for him when he lived in their home and some of his anger is valid... over-the-top at this point... but valid.

It's important for my children to know their dad's family.  It is nice for them to hear things like, "You remind me of your father when..." and to hear stories about their dad growing up.

I took my children to see their "other" grandparents.

It was odd.

But I'm glad I did.


16 comments:

Erin said...

Wow, you are such a good person! How kind and strong of you to be able to look at the bigger picture for your children.

myevil3yearold said...

Good job mom.

Eternal Lizdom said...

I'm glad you took them.

I have an estranged birth father. He disappeared from my life when I was 5 or 6 years old, I found him again when I was 19 but he quickly faded away again. In my late 20's, I started receiving mail from his mom and his sister. We stayed in touch for a while but their letters always focused on my mom being a bad person so I stopped the contact. However, I value that they reached out to me at all. And part of me wonders how things in my life would have been different if they had been connected to me in my childhood. So i think it's really great to have your kids maintain that connection.

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Very well done!

Tiffany said...

You are a good mom for facing that obstacle for your children. They will appreciate it.

Tara Denny said...

You're a better soul than I am. I don't think I could do it. I try to avoid awkward and uncomfortable situations. But it is nice of you to want your kids to have a relationship with them.

Stopping in from SITS, Have a great day!
Tara

Shell said...

Had to have been hard- but a great thing to do!

Jenn and Casey said...

That must be tough, but speaking as a therapist for kids - SO WORTH IT. They do need to know that side of their family, and it is a sacrifice for you - but so so worth it.

Heather said...

Wow! I am so I impressed. Such a gift you gave to your in-laws and your children!

misssrobin said...

I am so glad you did. I really believe grandkids can be super healing for families. It's wonderful that you are letting them get to know their grandparents. Good for you.

Stopping by from SITS.

Cynthia Meents said...

I think it's important to stay in touch with the other side of the family. I divorced my husband, but I didn't divorce my nieces and nephews from his side. We still keep in touch, and we had an awesome family reunion.

Adrienne said...

I think that's awesome! As twisted and dysfunctional as my family and in laws can be, I still think it's important to let the kids know who they're family is. They're foundation is at home with us, and staying connected (with boundaries) is important.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I truly admire you, as a mother and as a person. You are selfless and kind.

Charlotte Klein said...

I think it's incredibly awesome of you to do this. Now that I have lost both sets of grandparents, I regret not having spent more time with them when they were here. I am sure there were some awkwatd moments but it sounds to me thst your visit meant more to them than you may ever know.

What a great momma you are.

Also I've missed you. Terribly.

Robbie K said...

Good for you! That must be a difficult position to be in but your children and their grandparents will thank you.

Emmy said...

That would be a tricky situation. But yes, good good for you for doing it