Wednesday, September 5, 2012

PYHO: Accepting Help

As I mentioned yesterday, I survived the first week back, but the second one seems determined to bring me to my knees!  I woke up this holiday weekend to a broken fridge.  In a panic, I called my neighbor. They were going away for the weekend, so had plenty of room.  When talking to Lawn Boy about my woes, he mentioned having a friend, one I've met, who was a maintenance guy at an apartment complex.  Within 24 hours, they were at the house and my fridge is fixed...for now.

I worked hard over the weekend, spending an entire day at my dining room table, so I'd be all set for this week and then I walked out of the house yesterday morning and forgot the bag that had most of my things in it.  Luckily, the effort of planning it all out made me remember my plans and I was able to teach my lessons, but all of the things I'd organized for copies and such were at home!  

And then I get the call of doom from the office.

The Girl, who had be complaining about an itchy head that morning...The Girl, whose head I'd checked, but frankly, had no clue what I was looking for, had head lice.

The same child for whom I'd skipped the Back To School haircut, so her hair now hits her at the small of her back.

The same child who has somewhere in the neighborhood of 352 stuffed animals in her room.

The one that had crawled into MY bed somewhere in the wee hours of the night before and shared MY pillows.

Yup, that one! Why could it not have been her brother??? ~ Which consequently, it was by the end of the night!

Lawn Boy offered to help by taking The Boy to football so I could get a handle on everything at home.  At first I said "No thank you," because I've been on my own for 7 years. I could handle this. Plus, and more importantly to me, taking my child to practice is something a father would do.  It's something no other man, save for my father and brother-in-law, has ever done for my children. 

It is a very big deal.

As I got dinner on the table, I realized there was JUST.NO.WAY. I could do it all and I accepted the help, but this, while it seems miniscule, is a HUGE step for my family, because now he is doing things for my children and they know it.  I am scared THEY will get hurt. I find myself on the precipice of realizing that if I want someone in my life, I am going to have to let them into my children's too...eventually...I'm not sure how I feel about all that... about him being more to them then just another friend we get together with for cookouts on the weekends who sometimes comes to mow the lawn.

It's one thing to allow myself to get hurt. It's another to put my children in a place where THEY can be hurt!


GB DB said...

Perhaps it is best to only focus on the positive? Your fridge is working and so far you do not have head lice... just saying!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I feel your pain, so so much.
The thing is that, in life, we're going to get hurt. You are and so are your kids. You can't live your life in fear of that. You won't really be living, just existing, and you'll never be truly happy.
Just my 2 cents!
Wishing you the best!

Diane said...

Well, you know I understand this and while I do kinda regret introducing my boys to the two men I dated before I met Charlie, it all turned out just fine and I don't believe they were scarred by that. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith.

My boys, thank the Lord, have neither one had head lice. Knock on wood! What a pain in the arse. And the first week back! Ugh. You don't have to throw the stuffed animals away, do you? I'm not even sure what the protocol is.

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Hopefully you and your kids won't get hurt, but will instead see someone who was willing to help at a much needed time in your life. And good for you for accepting help--I struggle with that too.

Mimi B said...

Asking for help after we've done it on our own for so long just isn't easy. And like you said, to allow Lawn Boy to take that step had to have been harder on some levels. I haven't had to be in this position yet, so I can only imagine what you're going through. I don't think there's a "right" way to do this, but you have definitely been easing into it!

Kim (TheMoney-Pit) said...

((hugs)) You are doing amazing. One day you will look back on the lice and laugh. Today is just not that day! :D

Shell said...

So glad he was able to help you out- and that you accepted his help.

My head is now itching, btw.

Babes Mami said...

I too am now feeling itchy! Lol

Mommyof1 said...

Good for you for accepting help. I struggle with that myself.

Jessica Grace said...

I think its good to be on guard with our hearts and family. Its great that he wanted to help that says a lot about a person, and its also good for you to accept the help. It seems like this is a very interesting time in your life. Lice is the pits, but you seem to have such a handle of your life even when it throws you curve balls.