Those of you that have been reading for some time, know that my ex and I do not have an amicable relationship, so I keep communication to a bare minimum. He does see the children 2-3 times a year and now that the children are old enough to answer the phone and make calls themselves, I really try to limit contact between him and me to what is required to work out the details of exchanging the children and letting him know if something important crops up.
It is his turn to spend Christmas with the children this year and I had some things I did need to share with him, so last week I sent him an email; the first since this summer.
The response I got back was not surprising, but as always, it was disheartening. I think it caught my family and I off-guard because it had been so long since we'd ~yes "we," I always forward his repsonses to my family~ had to deal with one. My normally level-headed sister, the one who proofreads all of MY responses to make them more business like and less "you are not worth the dirt I'd spit on" was ready to drive up north and punch him in the face. ~Her words, not mine and okay she's hormonal and pregnant...
It isn't really about the children, you see... it is about money and power and control over me and I just don't understand it. It has been seven years. He has a new family. It is time for him to stop letting me matter so much.
He will most likely see the children, he always does, and they do love and enjoy their time with him, but he still seems so bitter and angry and I truly don't understand why. I have told you our story ~albeit, from my side~ and even if the grass wasn't as green as he thought on the other side of the fence, it is time to be over the need for power and control.
My heart breaks for my children. As of yet, it does not seem to have affected them, but it will...I know it... as they get older and start to understand some of what goes on.
From this, while I can ~and have thus far~ cushion the blow, I cannot protect them.
Then a friend, who knows nothing of what is going on, posts the following on facebook
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. ~Philippians 4; 6-7
and suddenly I know what to do.