Turns out I like ~even need, if you will~ a lot of alone time.
Thus, I found myself last night, navigating a tricky path with Lawn Boy. We have gotten into a pattern where he comes over most nights after my children are in bed, if he doesn't have his own children with him. We have also been slowly increasing the amount of time we all spend together, with all the children or just mine. That means we rarely go more than a day without seeing each other.
Until last night... We spent the day watching football at his house on Sunday, so he did not come to my house that night, although I think he thought about it, and Monday night he accepted an invitation to go watch football with the guys. He was apologetic and I was... relieved.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd had two nights in a row all to myself. I realized I needed it. I made myself a to-do list in the morning and actually got everything done that evening! ~Well, except for the Christmas Cards because I am still waiting for Amazon to ship the new power cord for my old laptop so I can access my address list!
Because poor communication was an issue for both of us in our marriages, I wanted to be honest with Lawn Boy about how I was feeling and so I explained myself... gently... on the phone.
I told him that I was used to having a lot of alone time and that perhaps I needed more. That we were in that weird spot where our time together felt limited... almost stolen, if you will, so unlike married couples, who just go about their business, when he was here, I wanted to be with him, which kept me from getting done the things I was used to doing when I was alone.
Blessedly, thankfully, he understood.
We'll see how it goes... this need for space that I have and how it meshes with the new need... the one where I want to be with him.