My parents had a friend who in an homage to Obnoxious Christmas Letters everywhere, would send a letter that started on page 3 with something like, "so after Cindy was discharged from the ER..." or "we posted bail for Johnny.." with no explanation what-so-ever, leaving you looking for the other half of the letter, wondering what the flip had happened!
I'm sure, if you've been reading for awhile, it will come as no surprise that the biggest Obnoxious Christmas Letter offender in my life is my mother. She's mailed out some doozies over the years. Hers are usually 2+ pages and cover the ENTIRE family. If she was the mother of 10 or had 20 grandchildren or something, the length might be justified, but her is only about us; Evie and me and my two children.... and every other member of our extended family.
Three years after my divorce, I finally had to put the kibosh on her mentioning my ex in her letter. He wasn't part of the family any more and certainly didn't warrant his own paragraph ~ or three! Her response, "Well I wanted people to know what a jerk he is!" Oh mom, people know without you writing things like, "The Ex lives in Timbucktoo, he sees the children for a week or two each year." *SMH*
Then there was the year she inadvertently made my sister sound like a lesbian, which would have been fine if she actually was one, "Evie lives with two women in a house in _______ . They enjoy *break to page two* taking long hikes with their two dogs...."
Or the year Evie turned 30 and she put her front and center on the photo card ....in a bikini. Poor Evie was clueless until we showed up at my cousin's for Christmas Eve and their 10-year-old outed my mom!
These days she makes two different letters; The Condensed Version and The Unabridged Version, for the people she feels really want to know it all. *sighs* She has taken to not sending us copies because she does not like our ridicule. With the children and I heading north, she'll try to hide it in a drawer, but I will find it. LawnBoy is the first guy I've brought home for Christmas since my divorce, I can only imagine...
Do you send a holiday letter each year?