Monday, January 14, 2013

Guess What? and Other Snippets from my Mother

My mother is good a getting the gist while somehow missing the boat. Can you guess about what she is referring?  (answers at the bottom)

a. We were discussing the fact that I was starving when I flew in the other night and she was inquiring as to why I didn't eat during my layover.  "The last time I flew through {insert name of airport} I ate at that place your father loves so much, Two Guys and Some Fries. You should have eaten there!"

b.When my sister was in high school. She put a new CD on  her Christmas List. My mother was perplexed. She just couldn't find "Up on the Table and Still Dancing" anywhere. 

c. This little gem is an excerpt from an email she sent this summer. I highlighted my favorite line:

 I called the ASPCA and they said I could try throwing something over the cage to catch the spray if the skunk let loose as I was trying to release it. I decided to take the chance. It was pouring rain and the little thing was still working hard to get out of the trap. I went to the garage and got a large black plastic bag and a drop cloth. I was wearing your grandfather's fishing hat to keep the rain off my freshly washed and styled hair. I walked carefully up to the trap and threw the bag and drop cloth over the trap. It snagged on the flowers and didn't quite cover the whole cage. I was talking gently to the skunk trying to keep it calm. I went up again and lifted the cover to move it more completely over the cage. The little guy felt threatened and sprayed. He didn't get me but the scent was in the air. The ASPCA told me that once they empty those scent glands it takes a while for them to refill. So I held my breath and leaned over and opened the trap door and ran like blazes. I don't smell too badly. 

Who the heck talks to a skunk...to keep it calm, no less...

a. Five Guys
b. Dave Matthew's Band's Under the Table and Dreaming
c. A skunk was caught in the Have a Heart Trap in the backyard and she couldn't bear to leave it in their while she went out for the afternoon.

Happy Monday Y'all!

16 comments:

Heather said...

I think it is safe to say that your mom is a CHARACTER!

Enjoy her!

HOOTIN ANNI said...

well, the only one I figured out was Five Guys. Love their french fries. LOL

The Dose of Reality said...

Your mom is officially COMPLETELY ADORABLE!!! Anyone who cares more about the skunk that possibly getting sprayed is good people!! (I didn't get 5 Guys or DMB!)

Slamdunk said...

Thanks to Mom for the unintended comedy. She sounds wonderfully fun. My father has always mispronounced names--he is always good for several laughs.

Diane said...

Hilarious! Your mom needs her own reality show. Seriously. And how did you hold out this long on sharing that email? The bit about keeping the rain off her freshly washed and styled hair made me laugh.out.loud!

nancygrayce said...

I love it and I think that would be a great name for a burger place!

ChiTown Girl said...

I seriously heart your mom!!

Aleta said...

For a minute there, I was thinking, "Wait, isn't that Five Guys.." We are getting our first Five Guys restaurant in a couple of months and looking forward to the opening :)

OK, the skunk email had me laughing! No WAY would I get close to a skunk!

Laurie Matherne said...

I figured out the first one, but I had no clue whatsover what she was thinking on the other two. Sounds like she's quite the character.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I actually like her burger place name better! Maybe she's on to something with that one.
I would probably talk to a skunk. Heck, I would love to own a skunk! De-scented - of course. =D

Blond Duck said...

I would talk to a skunk. :) Your mom is awesome.

Leslie said...

Love it! The first two snippets were fun, but the last one is hilarious! I hope your mother’s perfectly coiffed hair doesn't have skunk spray in it anymore!

Leigh Powell Hines said...

How are things?

I totally got the Five Guys...So funny.

The Editor said...

Oh, my gosh, what a hoot!

Charlotte Klein said...

Oh, I love these! Your mom is hysterical. I like her name for five guys sooo much better!

Julia Hunter said...

I didn't get the 5 guys one but I totally got the DMB one. Your mom sounds like a lot of fun.