Thus I found myself sitting at my dining room table the other night discussing decorating styles and getting really upset... like genuinely pissed off. Fortunately, I didn't emote these feelings, but I couldn't believe how irritated I was on the inside.
You see, I've had free reign of decorating for the entire five years I've lived in my house. Truthfully, I had most of it in my marriage too ~I'm sure you are shocked.~ I kept most of my furniture because I'd picked it out and got rid of the "concessions" I'd made to my ex's taste. It's generally agreed by anyone that has seen both my home with him up north and my own down here, that the changes I made were for the better.
Now LB's house is decidedly undecorated. In his defense, he hasn't lived there very long and most of his furniture is cast offs from splitting things with his ex. The paint colors are from the previous owner and they do fit what style he has. It's not awful... it's not even really bachelor-paddish... it's just ...sparse.
I've also been to his old home with his ex. This is their dream home. It borders palatial. I was not impressed. I don't want to knock another person's dream home, but I didn't care for the layout and the decorating style... it's sort of contemporary and "I grew up in the 80's." I had this unnerving sense that this was their dream and bordered really closely on being my decorating nightmare! I think some of my reaction was a sense of panic over the idea that the style in their home fell in line with the style in his place and I was going to have to somehow make this style work with my own. I think I was hoping her decorating style would be an improvement over his, when really, they are two decorating peas in a pod ~I know, I know, there is huge emotional baggage in visiting the dream home in which your boyfriend lived with his ex, but right now, I'm just talking about the style... I could do a whole 'nother post of the emotional business... am I making sense? Obviously I'm struggling to explain myself without sounding like a total witch, so that I can better explain my reaction to his comments about my house.
When LB called my decorating style "old-fashioned" I about flipped my lid. It's not "old-fashioned," but it is definitely more traditional with a bent toward cottage. Most that enter my home call is "cozy" and "welcoming" which is my whole goal and to me, the highest compliment.
It seems this is another way I am going to have to compromise when I am used to having full control. He wants to have a say in how it goes and I'm going to have to let him, but I'm scared, because my house is cozy and cottagey and comfortable and his...the two I've seen, aren't. Obviously, I'm willing to do it because I hope to make a life with this man, but darn it! I don't want dark colors and black leather and gold frames... I want my stuff! *stomps foot and pouts like two-year-old*
And don't even get me started on mattresses...