Monday, February 11, 2013

My Mother Comes to Dinner

My mother left this week to make her way south after staying for three weeks to help my sister Evie with Baby B. I had her over for dinner the night before she left and I almost lost it.  

I'm sure it will shock you to know that my mother has a little bit of a flair for drama.  She likes to do things in a big way.  Recently, what with Daddy's heart attack, my Grammy being sick, and Evie being pregnant, she's had to be more of a supporting character rather than the headlining act ~and in all honesty, as I have shared, she's done a bang-up job. As a result, she's come up with a few ways to ensure she is not lost in the shuffle.

She has a sore elbow, but being Grandma Wonder, she did not want to disappoint the children, so upon arriving, she invited them outside to shoot hoops and play catch while I got dinner ready ~which truly was helpful. Shortly there after, she burst into the house to the ice pack she brought with her out of the freezer. 

Did you know that you cannot successfully shoot hoops or play catch while holding an ice pack to your arm?  Not surprisingly, she was back in a few minutes later, mumbling about how it wasn't working.  I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but given our history, I knew it was best to just let her go and keep my mouth shut.   She found a sock on my couch.  I had been folding laundry earlier and I must have missed one.  I heard her comment that she would tie the ice pack to her arm. Except that it was a crew sock, not nearly long enough to accomplish such a feat, so instead, she just laid the sock across the top of the ice pack. I'm not really sure how this helped, except to keep her hand from getting cold and make her look even sillier.

She then sat with her ice pack/sock combo on her arm and moaned all through dinner. Inserting little comments so we were sure to notice her pain.  Things like, 

"It really hurts and I just can't figure out how to get it better," ~Maybe NOT play catch???

"You know, this isn't really made to be frozen. It's not really helping," ~You think?

"Do you have any ibruprofen?" ~Why yes, I do, but perhaps you'd like one of my prescription anti- inflammatories...oh, that's right, you have to be careful, because that my cause a flare up of of your IBS!

The piece de resistance was when she jumped up in the middle of the meal and started pacing because her hernia was acting up.  

It was quite a show. Knowing that I, given a lifetime of such theatrics, tend to get irritated more quickly than most, I was willing to entertain the idea that I was being oversensitive.  I said as much to LB.  Alas, even the normally unfailingly polite, trying to impress the parents  LB was astonished!

They say a good predictor of how a girl will age is to look at her mother. *SMH*

Never a dull moment, y'all, never a dull moment!


Babes Mami said...

Oh, momma! I have a slightly dramatic mother so I can relate to being annoyed with her before anyone else. Sometimes people are like 'seriously your mom is great!!' and I tell them to spend more then five minutes with her haha

Babes Mami said...

She IS great in other ways, just not those ways.

The Dose of Reality said...

Oh yes, I hear you on this one! Hope her elbow survives the trip home! ;)

Blond Duck said...

You seriously need to film her....she would be a Youtube star!

The Liebers said...

WOW! Makes me feel a bit better about my mom's craziness lately!! :)

Diane said...

..."she just laid the sock across the top of the ice pack". Priceless! :D

ChiTown Girl said...

I swear to God, our mothers were separated at birth!!

I feel ya, sista, I feel ya!


Angelwithatwist said...

My mother had a flair for the dramatic as well. She was constantly bemoaning how much she spent on us, referring to my family, for groceries and the like. I would say, did I ask you to buy 47 pounds of spaghetti at Sam's Club?? Noooo I did not therefore you bought me not one thing that I had ask you to supply. Come to think of it I didn't ask for anything, you simply made the choice that I had to have that. .. I miss arguing with her about stuff like that.

Slamdunk said...

Certainly keeps you on your toes.

My mother-in-law made a surprise visit this weekend (they were supposed to visit last week, but weather issues), and I am glad she did not sit on the couch. She would have found socks, a dog bone, and our youngest's stash of lucky charms that he regularly spills between the cushions. Yuck.

Aleta said...

Well, she definitely provides blog fodder and makes your blog readers smile :)

Tracy Wilson said...

Mine is due for a visit.
That is all.

Seriously, I think you did VERY well.I'm proud of you :)

Ilene, The Fierce Diva Guide to Life said...

My mother loves drama! She creates it as a matter of fact! No cast needed!

Charlotte Klein said...

LMAO!!!! She sounds like a riot. I have a mom like that, too. She refuses to listen to anyone, does what she likes and gets annoyed when anyone tries to give her any advice on things. But I love her dearly and wouldn't trade her for the world.

But GOOD LORD, she can drive a gal to drink! LOL!!

Mimi B said...

You've GOT to love your mom simply for the fact that she enables you to write hysterical blog posts!! I love it!